The fundamentals of living. We breath, drink, eat, provide our body and souls with a sense of nourishment (eat , sleep , rave repeat -as easy as our Dear Calvin Harris put it down). But in my own experience it doesn’t always seem to be this mundane day to day experience and God forbid that – I mean who wants that?
Life for me has slowly but surely turned out to be a challenge with each waking day. I wake up to the thought of still waiting to pursue my career (though having qualified just over a year ago). I wake up each day open up my laptop to search for new jobs that fit my tiny box of qualifications (that society dictated to me). I wake up numb to an environment where my purpose each day is to find a purpose. Let me tell you, it’s the most emotionally challenging and thought provoking time in ones life. You begin to question the reason you even chose such a career path, and why you had to choose one in the first place ? You start to wonder if you’ve wasted 8-10 years of your life pursuing a dream that perhaps has no silver lining.
As dull and pessimistic as this post sounds, this period in my life has been really good and bad for me at the same time.
Well I’ve had a chance to slow things down after the hustle and bustle of decision making and growing up in school – followed by the crazy college days and late nights. I’ve had a chance to break down every atom in my mind and body an figure out what exactly makes this version of myself tick – and decide whether I liked that version or not. I got so deep into my persona that I figured out things I didn’t even know needed figuring out.
Figuring out all these things has been a painful process at the most. The world we live in is so progressive and it has literally felt like I’ve been missing that bus every single day for a year. You get frowns and concerned faces of loved ones (and not so loved ones) that are confused as to how you lead your life with no societal status and purpose with each sunrise and sunset. You begin to question EVERYTHING and yes sometimes your relationships suffer as a result of that. I became slow, woke up late, did less, fed my soul less, became disconnected entirely.
Maybe that’s the point though, disconnecting is essential in our lives . I’m not saying bum around for a year or stress about jobs like me everyday. I’m saying take time in your life to disconnect and free your mind off everything that makes you that worker bee. Hike a mountain , close your eyes and try to meditate, drive without music and anger. Take time for yourself , and give yourself the some attention. Because I can assure you , you will never guess that you needed it, I definitely didn’t.
You might hate it, like I did initially- for the painful experiences and really hard questions I had to ask myself. I hated the fact that I had to be hard on myself, only because I had a year to wait around. That hate soon turned into love- and I think it’s taught me the most valuable lesson for when I do enter the working class world eventually.
I will always take time NOW onward to disconnect.
Photo caption: found this on a restaurant menu last week